Webbed Toes
by morning.chickenhead
Summary: Takes place during 703 Love is a Battlefield. "Rumour has it you have webbed toes." The random insult from Manny hits the nail on the head. How will Holly J deal with her self-doubts? Also includes Anya and Toby.


**Disclaimer: I do not own characters or settings from Degrassi. Just the stuff between the proper nouns.**

**Webbed Toes**

"Rumour has it you have webbed toes."

Holly J recoiled, barely able to snarkily tell Manny that racism is a bit more important than that. The know-it-all words from Manny stung – stung bad. _How did she know??_

Maybe Anya had said something to someone who had said something to someone else. Or maybe Manny had seen in the locker room. But Holly J had always been painstakingly careful to only take her socks off once she was _in_ the shower and shove them out under the curtain.

Holly J hadn't even realized that her feet were any different from anyone else's until in gymnastics when she was nine another girl, Libby, commented upon them, asking in a tone of disgust, "What's wrong with your toes?" and making it the constant subject of verbal abuse aimed at Holly J. When Holly J messed up on the balance beam, Libby smirked, "Why don't you try _swim club_ instead?" and later in the locker room, "I guess you've been spending too much time making out with a frog, hoping he'll turn into Prince Charming. His toes rubbed off on you." From then on, Holly J was obsessed with looking at other people's toes. Her eyes were constantly glued to the floor at gymnastics, the swimming pool, or the beach. She wanted to see if anyone else had webbed toes. But alas, Libby was right! She was the only one who had apparently spent too much time with Mr. Toad.

"M-mom," she sniffled that first day after gymnastics, "why are my feet different from everyone else's?"

"Oh, honey," said her mom. "Don't you remember? It's called syndactyly – extra skin between two fingers or toes. When you were very little we went to a special doctor who explained that there is a surgery to get it cut out, and when you were a little older – four years old – you got the surgery. But it grew back. The skin grafts stretch or something…I don't really understand it…" Holly J looked out the car window as her mom grew thoughtful.

When they got home Holly J demanded to see her mother's, her sister's, and her father's feet. They all had perfectly separated toes. Her dad claimed to have the same "condition," as he called it, but the few millimetres of extra skin seemed to Holly J like a cop-out. He was only trying to be a freak. Like he did with everything else. Always trying to be cool by acting stupid. Like when he just _had_ to dress up like a ninja turtle at her seventh birthday party…

Nine-year-old Holly J shuddered at the thought.

And so did sixteen-year-old Holly J.

Returned to the state of her youth after spirit squad practice, Holly J stood by the door to the showers, staring at the feet of every girl who walked by. Must she be the only one with this affliction of ultimate ugliness? Maybe she _should_ go kiss a frog. Her froggy soulmate, with webbed toes just like hers, and all their froggy children would have webbed toes, too.

But no! Holly J snapped herself out of it. Ew…how could she ever face anyone else with the quasimodo feet? She somehow understood Libby's averse reaction to her feet, because Holly J certainly wouldn't want to give a foot rub to, or play footsie with, or even be around someone _at all_ with webbing between two toes on each foot. It's _revolting!_ An aberration of nature! A nasty trick played by God on the wicked.

"What's wrong with you, Holly J?" Holly J was startled, not realizing how much time had passed while she was lost in the putrid mire of self-doubts. Manny stood by the locker room door, the last person left inside. Her voice was impatient and her arms were crossed.

"You know very well what's _wrong_ with me," Holly J cried accusatorily. "How dare you be so cruel, throwing it in my face like that?"

"What are you _talking_ about?"

"_My toes_," Holly J exhaled. "Did you see them in the locker room or what? _How did you find out?_" To herself she was still internally blaming her BFF, and was thinking nothing less than _I am SO going to murder Anya if she breathed a word of it…_

"Your toes…" Manny seemed not to comprehend what Holly J was saying. Then it dawned on her. "Your toes. You mean you actually _have_ webbed toes?" There wasn't disgust in her voice, just surprise.

Holly J almost choked. And definitely croaked. Like the frog she was. "You mean you didn't _know?_"

Manny snorted. "No, I had no idea! You called my racist, Holly J! I was just trying to muster something that would piss you off. I never suspected it would be _true_."

Holly J sank on to a bench. "And I just told you…" She was feeling light-headed as the implications of her paranoia, leading her to believe Manny really knew, sunk in. In revenge for the whole "racism" fiasco, Manny would surely tell the whole school. She would have to move to Timbuktu to get away from the nasty rumours!

Manny came and sat beside Holly J on the bench. "Look Holly J," she said calmly. "I'm not going to use this against you. Having webbed toes is no big deal!"

Holly J stared at Manny with shock. "Not a big deal? You're the one that said it to me. You're the one that made it up as one of your worst-insults-ever. You think it's disgusting. You can't even look at me!"

"Calm down!" Manny ordered. "I can look at you, okay, I'm looking at you right now! I'm sorry I made that up, okay? I had no idea I would hit the nail on the head. You're the one who seems to need to hide this little part of yourself." She glanced down at Holly J's toe-curled, definitively-socked feet.

She continued. "I really _don't_ think it's a big deal. I'm sorry that you do, that you worry so much about this. We all have our differences, our embarrassing moments. Frick, I showed my breasts to entire online communities! Mia was pregnant, so was Liberty; I mean, that's got to be _really_ tough. Something little like toes? That's nothing."

Holly J shrugged in despair. "I wish I could get them operated on. I did when I was little but the skin grew back or something. Maybe I'll try it again and it will be better this time," she said hopefully.

"Maybe," Manny agreed. "But the thing that started the whole boob-fiasco with me was that my agent – although she wasn't my agent then – made some nasty comment about my size. And yes it hurt, and yes I should have felt bad about it, but no I should not have blown it way out of proportion. Why did I invest so much authority in her in particular to judge my body? I felt so bad I wanted to get plastic surgery. I wanted to change that part of myself. And it just got me into a hell of a lot of trouble."

Holly J sniffled a bit, though she refused to cry. This turn-around from Manny was shocking enough in and of itself, let alone to have the trauma of coming-out as the Toe-Freak Princess. "Is this a team pep-talk?" she demanded. "You're worried I won't give my best on the squad if I don't get over myself? Or maybe you're just pretending to be nice and by tomorrow you'll turn around and stab me in the back."

Manny rolled her eyes. "Wow, you are paranoid. Sure, if that's what you want to believe." She got up and moved toward the door.

"Manny –"

Manny turned around once more before leaving. "I'm not like you, Holly J. I'm not going to spread some mean rumour about you whether it's true or not. It's up to you to tell something like that about yourself when you're ready." Holly J hoped she could trust her. But she had never experienced this side of Manny before, and something told her that Manny wasn't lying.

All alone in the locker room was kind of creepy. The lights buzzed and a shower dripped slowly, judgmentally, in the background.

Drip…….drip……drip…….

Like a ticking clock in slow motion. Waiting for reality to catch up with the speeding-by of time.

Holly J reached out and in one swift motion pulled off both her socks. There they were. Her toes. She wiggled them and smiled a little. Manny was right – she wasn't pregnant or something equally as horrifying. At least she could _see_ her feet. Her stomach was a satisfactory flatness and her breasts a satisfying plumpness.

But then her toes. Ugly as all hell. Holly J raised her upper lip in disgust and stopped the wiggling motion.

Drip…drip…drip…

The clock was ticking faster now.

_So what if I was pregnant? _Holly J thought in sudden defiance. _Or so what if I had a flat chest and a plump belly? So what if I had toes that weren't webbed? I've never purposely shown my webbed feet to anyone, not even Anya. And still, I have like no friends. What's up with that?_

Her heart sank as she remembered that what had started all this burdening self-examination was an obviously false conclusion and accusation on her part that Manny was "racist." Was it obvious to Manny that she had jumped to that conclusion not because she believed it but because she wanted to hurt her? Because that was _exactly _what had happened. And really, Holly J thought in dismay, she had no reason to hurt Manny. Holly J's life was like that _way _too often. Secretly, she much preferred the heart-to-heart that had just occurred with Manny in the locker room. Although Manny probably hadn't thought of it that way. She must still be angry about Holly J's immature accusation.

It was time for a turn-around.

The next day with about an hour's worth of hesitation, Holly J put on strappy sandals for school. Maybe no one would notice.

She made it to lunch okay…then last period with not one odd glance…then standing by her locker waiting for Anya at the very end of the day, it seemed she was home-free. She was almost ready to congratulate herself.

Then – "Hey Holly J, I didn't know you had duck feet."

Face burning, Holly J swivelled, ready to hurl a counter-insult at the asshole who dared breach her wall of confidence.

It was Toby. Before she could reply, he kept on talking. "That's really cool, I've never seen that before. Although I do have a cousin who has six fingers on one hand. But this is _way_ awesomer."

Holly J was pleased – absolutely, glowingly pleased. She smiled sweetly. " 'Awesomer,' eh?" she answered. "I don't think anyone's called me awesomer before."

"Well I would've if I'd seen your feet before," Toby promised.

Holly J glanced back to the lockers. Anya was involved with a conversation with Mia. She linked her arm through Toby's and started walking. "My duck feet are tired from a long day in these strappy sandals," she said. "Want to go put our feet up together at The Dot?"


End file.
